Going The Distance
by cuticusblondicus
Summary: With only weeks left until Dean is dragged off to hell, Sam will have to seek help from someone from his past.  maybe not the greatest summary, but the story is much better:
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've thought about submitting a story to this site for a long time. I love to write, I do it all the time. If my nose isn't buried in a book, I'm usually writing. The thing is, I'm normally to shy to let anyone read anything that I've written. But, after reading many, many, many, many, many stories here, I decided to give it a try. I've been toying with the idea of this story for awhile, probably over a year. See, I role play on my space, and my very first character ever, the one that is still close to my heart, she was married to a Sam Winchester. We had an interesting story going, and it got me to thinking. That was awhile ago. Years... possibly 3 or longer. But with everything that's happened on Supernatural in the past few seasons, I thought adding my character into the mix might make for an interesting outcome. So, I'm going to give it a try. I'm going to back it up to before Dean went to hell. This could turn out to be a very long story. So much so that I might end up splitting it up into a couple of stories. Now, I'm rambling so on with the... show so to speak. Let me know what y'all think.**

Sam sat in the hotel room he shared with his brother, surrounded by piles and piles of books, maps pined to the wall, and scraps of paper strewn all over the room. His laptop sat open on the table, the screen on the same page that it had been nearly two hours ago. He didn't want to admit it, it would kill him to do so. But he was out of ideas. He was burying himself in research and still he was coming up blank. There was absolutely no way to break a deal made with a cross roads demon. Or, perhaps there was. But Dean was far to valuable. And if there was a way, no one was talking. He pushed his laptop away with a frustrated sigh and pushed himself to his feet, pacing around the tiny room. Dean was off in some bar, probably drinking his worries away, and very likely in the company of some girl who's name he could forget in the morning. As much as Sam wanted to be frustrated by it, and he was... a little bit, there was a tiny part of him that couldn't really blame him. As far as his brother was concerned, his deal was up soon, he was going to hell, so he may as well have fun with what ever time that he had left.

Sam dropped down onto the edge of the bed and flopped back, staring up at the ceiling. As defeated as he felt right now, he refused to give up. He would keep on fighting, keep on searching, leaving no stone unturned until it was to late. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone intending to call Bobby. Maybe he had stumbled across some magical solution to erase the deal. Some spell perhaps. A few herbs, maybe some blood, a little chanting and poof.. no more deal and Dean was free. The chances of that were slim. In fact, they were non existent. He called every night and the answer was always the same. "I'm sorry, Sam. There's nothing new." Still, he called like clock work. One day, there would be something.

He flipped through the contacts on his phone, coming to a stop at the S's. And there it was. Someone that he hadn't spoken to in years, he didn't feel as if he had the right to. As he stared at the name, he could feel a familiar ache in his heart, one that would never go away. He buried himself in his work, threw himself into his hunting hoping that maybe in time, he'd forget her name. But as he stared at it now, he knew that was impossible. How do you ever forget someone that you loved? Someone that you knew that was exactly what you had been looking for your entire life? Someone, as corny as it may be, who was your soul mate? You would never forget. And if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to.

As his mind drifted, full of thoughts of her, it hit him. Why he hadn't thought of it before he would never know. They had tried the magic angle before to break the deal, but it had never been strong enough. Or, the person performing the magic hadn't been strong enough. What they needed was someone who wielded an incredible amount of power, someone who understood the stakes, and was willing to help, at what ever cost. And now here it was, a potential answer staring him right in the face. He didn't believe he had the right to talk to her, not after all of this time, not after the way he had left things between them. But this was for his brother, and he would do anything for him. Even if it meant ripping open pockets in himself he wished he could keep closed. With little hesitation, he dialed the number that had once been so familiar to him, his breath catching in his chest when he heard her familiar voice. "Smurf? It's Sam. I need your help."

**A/N: So, what do you think? Should I continue? Is anyone curious to see what's going to happen? I hope so. I'm rather fond of the characters and it's fun to actually sit down and write about them. Reviews would be lovely, nice ones hopefully :) Oh.. and in case anyone out there is curious, there girls name isn't actually Smurf... that's just a nickname. Her real name will come out next chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know the first chapter was short. I guess it was more like an introduction. I was just so excited about finally posting my first story that I wanted to get it up.**

Standing beneath the bright light of the full moon, Smurf let her eyes drift closed and took in a deep breath as she slipped the thin silk robe from her shoulders and let it pool at her feet on the forest floor. She perfered when ever possible to work sky clad. And this warm summer night was the perfect oppurtunity. Completely at ease with her nakedness, she lifted her arms to the night sky, the power that was already stirring in her warm and welcome. "I call to..." Her voice trailed off, a shrill ringing piercing the quiet night air. She shrugged it off, refusing to le the ringing phone distract her. When a few seconds passed by and the words she had started to speak halted in her brain, she cursed and gave in, reaching for the phone she couldn't remember why she brought in the first place. She didn't check the call display, just flipped the phone open with an impatient sigh and brought it to her ear, a quiet growl rumbling in her chest. Nothing bothered her more then being interupted when she was performing a ritual. "What?" It was quiet for a couple of seconds before someone finally spoke up. "Smurf? It's Sam... I need your help."

There was absolutely nothing in the world that could have shocked her more then those seven words had. The warmth of the summer night seemed to fade away as a chill crept over her skin. She shuddered involuntairly and wished she had brought more then the thin silk robe with her. Her mouth opened and closed several times and yet nothing would come out. And she always had something to say. She wasn't the type to get easily flustered, was usually quick with a come back. But her she was, standing alone in the woods, and the mere sound of his voice had reduced her to speechlessness. She shook her head a little to clear it, thinking maybe that would help. Instead, she dropped the phone and stared down at it as if it was something that she didn't recoginize. On unsteady legs she sank down to the ground and reached out for the phone again. Even before she brought it back to her ear she could his voice calling out to her, laced with concern. "Smurf? Smurf are you still there? Is everything ok?" She cleared her throat and blew out a breath hoping to steady herself, hoping her voice was coming out steady.

"Sam? To what do I owe the pleasure?" That was good, no shaking there. No way for him to guess that his phone call had broken down all of the walls she had built since had left in one swoop and left her a shaky, nervous mess. "You don't sound mad. I thought you'd tell me to beat it, or curse me or something. You know, give me warts or what ever it is that you do." She snorted a laugh, and silently congratulated herself on how non chalant she sounded, when she was anything bet. "Please. There are better things for me to do then give someone who doesn't matter warts. Now, were you calling for a reason? Or just to chat?" Smurf was surprised to hear the note of hurt in his voice when he spoke. "I don't matter? I guess I should expect that. After what I did, I can't... never mind. There are more important things right now. Like I said, I need your help. It's Dean. He's in trouble?" Inspite of herself, she felt a sliver of uneasiness work it's way through her. She had always had a soft spot for his brother. "What is it? What's going on?" He told her then, straight out, not holding anything back. He told her about him dying, Dean going to the cross roads to make a deal, only getting a year, and everything that had been doing to break the deal, with no luck. He spoke for awhile, while she remained silent, until she finally burst.

"How could you? How could you DO that to me, Sam? You don't think that I deserved to know that you died? That you actually stopped living? You don't think that maybe that's something I would have liked to have known. And spare me that I'm telling you know bullshit before you even say it. You should have called me. You should have come to me. I could have helped! I could have helped you both! If Dean had've thought to come to me, then he wouldn't be in this mess!" She stopped talking suddenly, surprised by her out burst. "I didn't think that you'd care, Smara." She jerked back in surprise, both from him thinking that she wouldn't care, and her real name. Everyone called her Smurf now, so to hear her real name was someone what of a surprise. "You must think I'm heartless then if you think that I wouldn't have cared that you died. Jesus christ Sam, I can't believe that you would..." "Look, I'm sorry, ok. But now isn't the time to talk about this," he said, interupting her. "We're running out of time, and I don't know where else to go. Please. If not for me, then do it for Dean. We need your help." Smurf didn't want to say yes. There was a tiny, selfish part of her that wanted to deny him help, if for no other reason then she wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt her. But if he lost Dean, that would kill him. And no matter had happened between them, she didn't want to see in that kind of pain. So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, blurting out... "Yes. Yes, I'll help you."

Sams sigh of relief was loud and long. "Thank you. I was afraid that you were going to turn me away. But you are our last hope. We don't have anywhere else to go. Dean and I can be there in..." "Wait, hold up. Be there? Like, be here? With me? In the same... area and stuff?" He chuckled a little. "Yes, with you. What did you expect? You could do a little long distance witchery and poof.. problem all gone? It's more complicated then that." "I know. But I just..." He could pracitcally sense it coming. Her backing out. "Listen, Dean and I can be there by tomorrow sometime. We'll see you then." And with that, he hung up. "... don't think I can handle this." she finished quietly, snapping the phone shut and pushing herself to her feet, drawing the robe around her. The magic part of what ever needed to be done, she could handle. She had nothing but time lately to hone her skills and had become a powerful witch. But seeing Sam was something else entirely. Monsters, demons, ghosts, things that went bump in the night she could handle, she thought to herself as she gathered her things together and headed home. But coming face to face with the only person that had ever broken her was another thing completely.

"Are we ever getting out of the car, Sam? Or were we just going to sit here? Coming here, getting her help was your idea. Don't tell me that you've suddenly changed your mind? Or perhaps your a chicken whos afraid to face her." Sams flinch was cleary visable. "So that's it. You're afraid to see her. If that's the case, then why reach out to her in the first place?" Sam turned from staring out the window and shifted until he was facing his brother. "Because she may be our only hope. And no matter how much I'm dreading seeing her, I would do anything for you." "I know. But I just want you to be sure that you can handle this, Sammy." A faint smile twitched at the corners of Sams lips as he finally pushed the door open and climbed out of the car. "After everything that we've been through, you doubt that I can handle this? Please." Despite his attempts to seem only slightly worried about seeing Smurf, deep down he was terrified. When he had left, he had given no explantion, no attempt to explain himself. That had been two years ago, and his phone call to her last night had been the first kind of any contact that he had had with her. Slowly, reluctantly, he climbed the few steps up her porch and knocked on the door before he could change his mind.

The door swung open and Sam took a step back, suddenly feeling as if someone had sucker punched him in the gut. He had forgotten that the mere sight of Smurf had been enough to take his breath away, literally. Her long blonde hair tumbled down her back in waves and her eyes, those beautiful green eyes that he loved so much swept over him carefully before coming to rest on his eyes, the barest hint of a smile curving her lips. He sighed a breath of relief and took a half a step forward before he realized the smile wasn't aimed at him. Smurf brushed him aside and slipped her arms around Dean, drawing him in close and holding on tight, her face buried against his shoulder. Deans gaze shot to his brother, his arms wrapping automatically around the tiny blonde. Sam just shrugged, and averted his gaze, surprised to find that he was jealous that it wasn't him that was holding Smurf in his arms. "Dean Winchester..." Her voice washed over him and he lifted his eyes to look at her, a laugh escaping as she pulled away from his brother and punched him. "Don't you EVER do that again, do you hear me?" For someone so small, she was certainly strong, Dean thought as he mustered up his smirk. "What ever you say, little lady. You gonna invite us in?"

"Of course." Smurf stepped back and swept her arm back to indicate the house, smiling. "Please, come in." Dean pressed a kiss to her cheek as he stepped past her into the house, heading for the living room. Sam hesitated in the doorway, staring down at Smurf, a hundred things on the tip of his tongue. "Smurf, I..." "Save it," she demanded and strode past him, leaivng him to shut the door and follow after her. He closed the door with my force then was needed, and had to struggle to hold back from stomping into the living room like an irritated child. Truth be told, he was irritated. Her complete disregard for him, her refusual to talk to him, how happy she seemed to be to see his brother irritated him. He had to remind himself that it was to be expected. After what he had done, leaving her the way he had, she had every right to treat him as she was. He rounded the corner into the living room, surprised to see Smurf curled up on the couch with his brother, the irritation that had been so clear on her face when speaking to him only moments ago, was gone. Instead, she was smiling. He grumbled a little as he dropped into a chair across from the two. "Is the reunion over? Because I was thinking maybe we could get down to work. It's not like we've got a lot of time." Smurf switched her gaze to him, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "If you want my help, then I suggest that you drop the attitude, unless you want me to turn your ass into a toad. And don't test me, because I will." It was quiet for a several seconds, before Dean jumped in. "Ok kids, enough of the poking at eachother. Smurf, Sam does have a point. We don't really have a lot of time." A look of sympthay crept across her face as she nodded, pushing herself to her feet. "How much time are we talking?" she asked. "Well, two weeks." At Sams words, she spun around, her eyes flashing angrily. "That's it? Two weeks? Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to break a deal with a cross roads demon? It's damn near impossible. It takes a hell of a lot of power, a hell of a lot. And you are just coming to me now? What is the matter with you?" Sam shot his brother a look when he started to speak, then got to his feet, his own eyes now flashing angrily.

"Check your attitude, Smara," he said, emphasizing her name, just because he knew it would irritate her. "We're here, that's all that you need to know. If you think for one minute that I'm going to spill..." Lightening quick, Smurf reached out and gripped his arms, her long fingers curling around his wrist as she held on, her green eyes filming over with white. After a few seconds, she dropped him and stepped back, her eyes now showing disbelief, and.. disappointment? "You thought you could do it on your own. That you could save him, the way that he saved you. What is it with the two of you? Always have to be the fucking hero. Well listen up, hero," she said, stepping closer and jabbing a finger into his chest. "If I can't help, if by some miracle I can't pull of the kind of magic that will be needed, then your unwillingness to admit that you need help may have cost your brother his life. Think about that." She stepped away from and turned her back, now facing Dean. "I'll do what ever I can do to break the deal, Dean.. I promise. But I'm going to need some help." "You've got it. What ever you need." She smiled a little and shook her head. "No, not that kind of help. My kind of help. I'm calling in reinforcements." She blew out a breath, and called out loudly... "Lana? I need you." Sam did no more then blink, and suddenly, he found himself face to face with another girl, this one taller then Smurf, with long brown hair and warm blue eyes. "You called, chica?" "We've got a new project," Smurf said, gesturing to Sam, and then to Dean. Lanas eyebrows rose in surprise but she held back her questions, for now. "Big?" she asked. Smurf nodded. "Possibly the biggest. I'll fill you in later. For now, boys... why don't you find a room and make yourselves at home. You are now offically under my protection."

Both brothers started to protest at once. The idea that they of all people needed to be protected, and by a girl no less was amusing. When laughter started to bubble up out of the both of them, Smurf rolled her eyes. "Please. You should both know that I am completely capable of protecting the both of you. And if you want me help, then you'll do as I say. I can't help you break the deal if I can't keep you safe. Do we understand eachother?" Her eyes landed on Sam, knowing he would be more open to the idea of her protecting them then his brother would. After a few moments, Sam finally nodded. "Ok. Deal." Dean started to protest and Lana grinned, shaking her head. "No.. I wouldn't get her going if I were you. Just go with the flow, or you'll find yourself dealing with a very pissed off witch." Deans mouth snapped closed, not wanting to get turned into a toad. "That's what I though," Smurf said, a faint smile touching her lips. "Now..." She turned to the newest arrival. "Can you do me a favour and show them to a couple of rooms?" "You got it, chica. Boys, follow me." As Lana led them upstairs, Smurf flopped back onto the couch, wondering exactly what she had just gotten herself into.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam woke with a start, the dull images from his dream fading away as he sat up in bed. He took in the unfamiliar surroundings, a few seconds passing before it sunk in that he wasn't in some random, dingy motel room with his brother snoring away in the bed across from him. In fact, his brother was in a room across the hall. They had become temporary house guests in Smurfs home, at least for the next couple of weeks. Sam swung his legs over the edge of the bed and got up slowly, reaching out to snag a shirt to pull on as he headed out of the bedroom and down the stairs. It felt weird almost to be wandering freely around the house that was once going to be his. Theres, he corrected himself as he stepped into the kitchen. He was hoping for a few quiet minutes to himself so he could gather his thoughts, get himself settled before they dived right into work. He would never admit to anyone, maybe not even his brother, but seeing Smurf had stirred things in him that he had no idea how to deal with. And was now really the time? With everything that was on the line, they should be focusing completely on the task at hand, not wondering what lingering feelings meant. "Maybe not lingering," he muttered to himself as he pulled down a cup from one of the cupboards and poured himself some coffee. Did feelings like the ones he had for Smurf ever really go away? He shook his head to himself as he doctored the cup of coffee. No, they would never go away. They would always be there, even if he didn't want to admit that.

"Talking to yourself? Isn't that a sign of craziness?" Sam jumped at the unexpected female voice behind him and spun around to find himself looking into Lana's smiling eyes. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be up." "I'm an early riser." She studied him over the rim of her coffee mug, her eyes full of curiosity. Based simply on looks alone, Lana could see why her friend had fallen for the hunter. Add in everything else that she had heard about him, it seemed as if the two were meant to be together. Sam took a seat at the table across from her and offered a cautious smile. "I'm surprised that you're speaking to me. I figured, being Smurfs best friend, you would hate me on principal alone." Lana shrugged her shoulders a little and tipped her chair back, balancing on two legs. "I don't hate anyone. And neither does Smurf. She's still got feelings for you. But they're buried way deep under the hurt and anger she still feels." "Still? She still has feelings for me?" Sam's eyes were wide as he let her comment sink in. "You don't know much about women, do you? Or more specifically, her. She may think that she hates you, but I know better." "Huh." Sam leaned his elbows against the table, forgetting about the coffee he had so desperately wanted only a few minutes ago. "How much do you... know about our history?" he asked. Lana's face went serious for a moment. "I know everything, Sam. Listen, there's something that you should know about me." "You're a witch, I kind of all ready figured that out when you appeared out of nowhere yesterday." Lana shook her head. "No, not a witch. I'm something else entirely. And I'm not just her best friend. I'm a lot more then that."

Lana let the her chair hit the ground as she leaned across the table, curious to see what Sam's reaction would be. Smurf had told her the night before she had left out what Lana was, said it wasn't her story to tell and if Lana wanted them to know, she had to be the one to tell them. "Do you believe in... guardian angels?" "Angels? Like, as in ones from heaven?" He couldn't help his snort of laughter. "I've seen a lot in my days, a lot. Some things most people wouldn't even believe. But even I have a hard time swallowing that one." The look of annoyance that flashed across Lana's face had him second guessing his beliefs. "Just because you can't seem them, doesn't mean they don't exist," she snapped. She took in a breath to settle herself. "I'm an angel... of sorts. I guess you could call me a half breed. My father was human, and my mother was an angel. Because of my mixed... race I didn't retain all of my angelic powers. Smurf has been able to duplicate most of them though through her magic. She's grown very powerful in the two years since you've been gone, Sam. You should be very proud of her." "I am. How long have you... been guarding her?" Lana smiled. "I was sent to her right after you left. Most guardian angels are sent to witches, to help keep them on the right path. There are a few special cases, humans that know about the supernatural world, that can be of some use to our side, that are assigned angels. Most of the time, when a witch comes into her powers, is when her, or his angel is sent to her. But Smurf, she was different. Right from the time she had access to her powers, she had a better handle on it then most. There was no need for her to be guarded. But I knew that one day, she was going to be my charge, so I kept watch on her. I was told to wait, only to enter her life when she would need me the most."

Sam pushed aside his still full cup of coffee, fascinated by what he was hearing. "And she needed you the most when..." His voice trailed off but Lana understood where he was going. "Yes. Not even two days after you left, I entered the picture. You broke her, Sam. Most people use that as a figure of speech. But I'm being completely serious. She shattered when you left. It was like it hurt to talk, to breath... to do anything. She was ready to give up on the gift she had been blessed with. And she is destined to do great things, to be one of the most powerful forces of good that our world as ever seen. Even she doesn't know that, so I'm going to ask you to keep that little bit of information to yourself. I'm only telling you because if you hurt her again, she won't recover this time. A person can only take so much heart ache in their life time, and you've already made Smurf reach her quota." Lana leaned even further across the table, her eyes darkening slightly. "It's my obligation to protect her from any harm, Sam. You seem like a nice enough guy, and it sucks the situation that you and your brother are in. Because it's so important to Smurf, I'll help in anyway that I can. But if you hurt her, in anyway, I'll make it my mission in life to destroy you. Are we clear?" Her voice had remained calm while she was speaking, her eyes a deep dark blue. But it was easy to read the intent in them, to know that she was being completely serious. Sam nodded. "Crystal." With a satisfied smile, Lana leaned back. "Good. I'd hate to have to go all pay backy on your ass. It isn't pretty. And I'm sure that Smurf wouldn't appreciate it."

"Speaking of, where is she this morning," Sam asked. "I thought she couldn't get through her morning without her usual dose of caffine." Lana jerked a thumb at the ceiling. "She's in her lab, so to speak. Wanted to get an early jump on things. It's been a long time since I've seen her so determined to do something. I just can't figure out if it's out of her desire to save your brother, or to get you the hell out of here so she doesn't have to deal with you and what she's feeling right now." Sam sipped absentmindely from his coffee. "You sound so sure she has feelings for me." "I am. I can tell." His eyebrows rose. "Oh? And how's that?" Lana shot him a little grin and tapped her chest right over her heart. "I can feel it. Smurf and I, we're connected. It's a rarity for a guardian to connect so completely with there charge. But it does happen. Smurf and I happen to be one of those rare cases. We're like... open books to each other, Sam. And right now, her book is telling me that she never totally got over you. And this, you being here, is costing her greatly." A worried frown crossed his face. He desperately wanted to help his brother, no matter what the cost was. But he didn't want to be the cause of anymore pain in Smurfs life. ""Then why?" he finally asked. "Why would she be so willing to help me? To help us?" Lana shook her head as she rose from the table to put her cup in the sink. "For someone so smart, you sure ask dumb questions sometimes. She's helping because she still feels for you, Sam. She knows that if anything were to happen to your brother, it would kill you. And while your presence here is causing her pain, she doesn't wish to see you in the kind of pain that losing your brother would cost. Now, why don't you go up and give her a hand. I'm sure she could use it. She's sent me on a fact finding mission."

After convincing his brother to accompany Lana on her mission, Sam reluctantly climbed the stairs to the attic. Smurf had often referred to it as her magic room. As he rounded the corner at the top of the stairs and got his first glimpse of her, he stopped dead in his tracks. She sat cross legged in the middle of the floor, piles of books surrounding her. Currently, she was leaned over one, her blond hair creating a curtain so he couldn't make out her face clearly. She gave a huff of irritation and flipped her hair over her shoulder, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she flipped through pages, her eyes scanning the words. He stood as he was, not wanting to make his presence known just yet. He used to love watching her when she was puzzling over a new problem, be it magical or otherwise. She got so completely absorbed in what she as doing that she often forgot about the world around her. "Staring is considered rude, you know." Her quiet voice had startled him, he hadn't been expecting her to speak. "How did you know I was there?" he asked as he stepped into the attic and made his way over to her. "Because I'm not stupid, Sam. I can sense you, your hesitation, your desire to know what it is that I'm doing. Plus I could... feel your eyes on me." When she finally looked up at him, he had sank down to the floor and was now eye level with her. She held his gaze for a moment before looking back down and pushing the book towards him she had been studying. "What I've got is a whole lot of nothing. So far anyways. But that's to be expected. We aren't just going to have the answer land in our laps like.. poof." She ran a hand through her hair in irritation, pushing it over her shoulder.

When some fell back into her eyes, Sam reached out without thinking and brushed it away. At the simple touch of his fingers against her skin, she stiffened and slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me." she ordered him, not willing to tell him that just that simple contact had stirred her up inside. "There was a time when you liked it when I touched you." "There was also a time when I loved you. Things change." He couldn't help that flash of hurt that crossed his face. "They don't have to change, Smurf. Why can't we just.. talk about it, the things that happened. Maybe we can fix things. I think I still..." She jumped to her feet, and backed up, needing some distance between them. "Don't! Don't you dare finish that sentence." "Why, Smurf? Why can't I? I know what I did was... " "Hateful. Wrong. Heartless. Awful. Heart breaking. Take your pick, Sam. They all fit. I can't go through that again." He stepped closer to her, and she took another step back. "Was it really that bad? You got through it, you survived. You know that saying, what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Maybe that applies. You are a lot stronger now then you were then." Her normally bright green eyes darkened as they often did when she was overcoming with emotion. "It wasn't bad... for you. You just got out of bed, left me a fucking lost note and left. Left without a word and without a look back. We were going to be married, Sam! And you just.. disappeared. And all you had to say for yourself was Sorry. You don't even know what it was like for me to wake up and find that note. But you... you're about to find out." Her eyes still dark, she stepped closer to him and slapped her hand against his forehead. Sam suddenly felt as if he was weightless, and then it felt like he was free falling...

_FLASH BACK..._

"_Sam?" Smurf rolled over in there bed and reached for him, coming up with a fistful of sheet instead of her finance. She sat up in bed, dragging a hand through her tousled mass of blond hair and glanced around her in confusion. It was the day of there wedding, and while it was tradition for the bride and groom to be apart the night before, the couple had decided to scrap that. Besides, with Sam a hunter, and Smurf a witch, they weren't exactly your traditional couple, so they felt no need to follow what every other couple did. "We aren't every other couple, baby." Sam had often said. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Smurf got to her feet, tossing the sheet she had been wrapped up in aside and started for the door. Suddenly, she remembered that Sam's brother Dean was sleeping down the hall, and back tracked, grabbing one of Sam's shirts to pull on over her naked body as she padded downstairs to the kitchen. It was empty, and after a quick search of the rest of the house, she discovered it was empty to. "Strange," she mussed to herself. _

_Still, she didn't feel the need to panic. Sam would be back sooner or later. He had probably just stepped out to get her some kind of surprise. He was always doing that, surprising her with sweet little gifts __when ever she was least expecting it. She WA so sure that was the case that she decided to make breakfast and have it waiting for him when he got home. Humming to herself, she pulled some eggs out of the fridge and let her mind drift, thinking about the wedding that was now only a few hours away. It was going to be perfect, just the way she had always envisioned it. Belting out the chorus to Going To The Chapel, Smurf spun around, almost as if she was on a dance floor, reaching for a pan for the eggs when she spotted it. The slim white piece of paper propped up on the counter with her name on the front. A strange sense of unease pricked her bubble of contentment as she set the carton aside and reached for the envelope. Slowly, she unfolded it and stared dumbfounded at the single word scrawled across the page in Sam's messy hand writing. "Sorry." She blinked, once, then twice, and shook her head, hoping to clear it. There was a part of her, a very, very tiny part that wondered what he was sorry for. But she knew. She knew exactly what he was sorry for. _

_The unease gave way, panic and dispair taking it's place. She tossed the note aside and raced up the stairs to there room, flinging open the closet to find his side empty. She clapped a hand over her mouth to smother the sound of a sob and ran out of the room, practically flying up to the attic. When he wasn't on a hunt, he kept his weapons in what she called her magic room. With tears already welling up in her eyes, she searched every square inch for his weapons chest but came up empty. She stood still in the middle of the room and the let the realization wash over her. Sam was gone. Sam was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Something inside her snapped, the damn that was holding her emotions back broke and they came spilling out. She let out a single, high pitched shriek, the sound full of anguish and heartbreak. Not having the strength to hold herself up anymore, she sank down to the carpet in a tangle of limbs and sobbed, her entire body shaking with the force of them..._

_END FLASH BACK_

Sam came out of the vision swaying unsteadily on his feet. "You had no right..." he gasped out as his legs gave way and he tumbled down onto the ground. He took a few deeps breaths to try and steady himself, then got slowly to his feet. His first glance at Smurf had him stepping forward automatically, ready to offer comfort for the pain that was etched so clearly across her face. Tears slid slowly down her cheeks as she stared at him, makin no more to stop him. He dropped the arms he had out stretched and took a step back from her. The pain he had felt coming off of her in waves in the vision had been unlike anything he had felt before in his life. It hurt, a soul crushing, heart breaking hurt, so intense it had taken his breath away. Without another word, Smurf spun on her heal and left the room. And for once, Sam didn't even try to stop her.


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of a slamming door rang through out the house. Smurf let out a shriek of a surprise and hit the ground with a thump. "Son of a bitch," she mumbled to herself as she pushed to her feet, brushing herself off. After her trip down memory lane with Sam earlier she hadn't been able to steady herself. And with the amount of work that needed to be done, she knew she had to calm herself and fast. Locking herself in her room, she lit some candles and shed her clothes, launching herself 8 feet into the air for what she called her "magical meditating" The sound of loud, angry voices had her hurrying to pull a robe on, wondering what the hell was going on. She crept out of her room and to the top of the stairs, barely noticing when Sam joined her. "Fucking crazy ass woman." she heard Dean exclaim. Smurf clapped a hand over her mouth to quiet the sound of her laugh. "I'm hardly crazy." Lana's voice floated up to them, the annoyance in her tone easy to hear. "You put yourself in front of a vampire. A fucking vampire! And a hungry one at that. You should have gotten the hell out of the way when I told you to." "I saved your life, can't you just be grateful? Maybe offer me a thank you?" Dean snorted. "What I want to offer you is a smack upside the head. You could have been..." "I could have been nothing," Lana stated, interrupting him. "I'm completely capable of taking of myself. It's not like I'm some helpless female that needs to be protected."

From there spot upstairs, Sam leaned over to whisper to Smurf. "How long do you think it is before she gets really annoyed and punches him?" he whispered. Smurf held up a finger to her lips to silence him. The feelings coming from her friend were a mixture of things, but the underlaying emotion was annoyance. Nothing bothered her more then someone insinuating that she couldn't protect herself. Smurf tip toed down a couple of stairs, wondering if maybe she should step in before things got to heated, when she felt Sam's hand on her arm. "Just let them go at it, get it out of there system. They'll be better for it." Smurf jerked her arm away from him, but nodded, staying where she was. Lana and Dean had moved from the kitchen into the dining room, giving the two spies a more clear view of them as they continued to argue. "I never said you needed to be protected. But you're an angel for fucks sake. Aren't you like, a pacifist? Against fighting and all that?" "It's in one ear and out the other with you, isn't it? I'm only HALF angel. Half." "What ever. That vamp was three times the size of you. You should have let me help you."

It was quiet for a few seconds before Lana spoke again, a hint of amusement in her voice. "That's it, isn't it? You're mad that I had no problems taking him out without any help from you. That a woman could do your job. That you had to sit back and watch as I took him out, very easily I might add." "That's not it... Well, not all of it," he said after a brief pause. "Then what is it, Dean? Please enlighten me." "You're.. you're.. and you look... and you're a..." Moving quickly, Dean pushed Lana against the wall, his hands planted on either side of her. He stared into her eyes, telling her to stop him if she wanted to. He didn't know where it had come from, the sudden desire he suddenly felt for her. Lana shook her head slightly and hitched her body up, her longs legs wrapping snugly around his waist. There were a few beats of silence while they just stared at each other, then he crushed his lips to hers, kissing her hungrily. She let out a quiet moan, tracing her tongue slowly along his bottom lip as she pressed her body to his. Her hands wiggled between them and slid down his chest, then up and under his shirt, her nails scraping teasingly along his stomach. Dean sucked in a breath, his kisses trailing down her neck slowly. Upstairs, it was Smurf who grabbed Sam this time, pulling him back up the few steps and giving him a push towards his room. "Looked like they were about to have an awful lot of fun down there." Sam said, pausing in the door way of his room to look at Smurf. "Which is why we aren't going to spy anymore." "We could be having the same kind of fun, Smurf." When she didn't throw anything at him, or curse him, just simply shook her head and shut her door, he took that as a sign. "You'll let me back in Smurf. Sooner or later." With a last glance at her bedroom door, he closed his own and crawled back into bed.

XxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Sam! Sam.. wake up." "Go away." Sam rolled over in his bed and burrowed deeper under the covers, doing his best to block out the voice. When the next few seconds ticked by in silence, he signed in relief, figuring that who ever it was had given up on trying to wake him. "I believe I said get your lazy ass out of bed." Smurf yanked the covers away and reached down to pull the pillow out from underneath him, tossing it into the corner of the room. "Now Sam. Chop, chop. We've got demons to see, and brothers to save." With a last nudge, she flounced out of the room, knowing that he would be right behind her. She tip toed past the living rooom where Lana and Dean were sleeping together in a tangle of limbs on her couch, a trail of their clothing leading to the dining room. She chuckled to herself as she hopped up onto the counter in the kitchen, sipping from her coffee cup as she waited for Sam to come down. She had figured it was only a matter of time before both Lana and Dean ended up ripping each others clothes off and having a good sweaty bout of sex. They were so much alike, with there need to protect what they thought of as theres, there stubbornness and over all outlook on life. Maybe, if they were in any other situation, she figured her friend would want to let things play out with the eldest brother and see where they ended up. But much like Smurf, Lana thought that now wasn't the time. They had to keep there head in the game and not mess around with the possibility of a relationship.

Who knew what was going to happen in the next couple of weeks, where they would all be when things were over and the dust cleared. Why wouldn't now be the perfect time to dive head first into something that made you happy? "Happy... hmph," she grumbled to herself, sliding over the coffee pot to top off her mug. She didn't remember what it was like to be happy. Not completely, down in the gut, happy. Not since things with Sam had ended. Her life after that hadn't, and never would be the same. And now, spending this time with him, working together, was bringing all of the feelings she had fought to keep suppressed right back to the surface. Not that she would admit that to anyone. Anyone other then Lana that is. "You look like you are deep in thought." Because she was keeping tuned to him, she had felt Sam coming. She shot him a look, trying to keep her face blank. "It was nothing important." Rather then push her further, Sam just nodded, snatching the mug out of her hands and finishing off the last of her coffee. "So what's with the bright and early?" She slid off the counter and to her feet, stepping closer to him, a smile of satisfaction of smile creeping over her face as she noticed his eyes widen in surprise. He was so used to her keeping her distance, it was a surprise when she came close. 'This could be fun,' she thought to herself. If she was going to have to deal with him being here, then she may as well have fun with him. Letting her hands skim up his arms slowly, she let them come to a rest on his shoulders, her voice low and seductive when she spoke. "Sam," she all but purred, leaning in close. It was a struggle to hold back a giggle when she saw the pulse in his throat jump, as she felt him tremble, just once below her hands. "What?' he asked, his voice horse. She raised up on her tip toes, her lips now mere inches from his. "We've got demons to see," she said, her voice still holding that note of seduction. As a confused look slid onto his face, she stepped back, and ported them away.

"Smurf, duck!" Instinctively, Smurf dropped down low to the ground, swinging out with her leg and knocking the demon off it's feet. Breathing hard, she watched as Sam tackled it to the ground as it started to get up, pushing it back towards the circle Smurf had prepared before summoning the demon to them. "Smurf... now! I've got him!" She pushed herself to her feet, shoving the hair out of her face, then threw out her arms, almost as if she was reaching out for Sam, and fire shot from the tips of her fingers, lighting the circle of sand on fire, trapping the demon within. It growled, the sound echoing off the walls of the empty warehouse Smurf had picked for the job, figuring her house was not the place for a smack down, especially when she wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen. "Are you ok?" Sam asked her, ignoring their shrieking friend for now. Smurf forced a smile to her face. "Oh sure. Never better. Getting tossed around by a demon was exactly what I needed. It's an excellent way to start of the day, don't you think?" He saw right through her though, knowing that the brief, yet very physical scuffle had left her sore, and drained of energy. Energy that she would need to keep the fire going that was trapping the demon. "Maybe this isn't the time..." She waved him off, and let out a breath, squaring her shoulders. What she had neglected to mention was this demon, Belfagor, had turned up in her research as someone who might have some useful information in breaking a deal. "Let me do the talking," she said to Sam.

She shot him a warning look, just to be sure he understood, then turned her attention Belfagor. "What do you know about crossroad demons?" she demaned, raising her voice to be heard about his angry growling. "Go to hell, witch." "I really hate repeating myself. So if you value your... life then I suggest you start talking." "Go to hell." Smurf shook her head and shifted a little to look at Sam. "Don't you just hate it when they don't listen to you." Sam nodded seriously. "I really do." "Well then.. I did warn me. So..." Keeping her eyes on Sam, she held out her hand, her finger tips just inches from the fire and made a fist, the fire creeping closer to the demon. 'Talk, or you'll be nothing more then a pile of ashes." He kept quiet, refusing to give in. It wasn't until till the fire tinged his skin did he let out an ear piercing shriek. "Ok, ok, I'll talk... tell you anything that you want to know." Smurf smiled a smile of satisfaction and uncurled her hand, the fire receding slowly. "What do you know about crossroad demons?" "What do you want to know?" "How to break a deal. Can it be done?" She sensed Sam stiffen beside her, knowing that he was surprised by the question. Although why she didn't know. Belfagors eyes shot to Sam, a smile (if you could call it that) curving its lips, revealing a row of sharp, jagged teeth. "Did you make a deal, boy?" When Sam started to speak, Smurf silenced him with a wave of her hand. "Deal with me," she commanded. The demon studied her, his curiosity clear. "You've got power, girl... a great deal. But you can't do what needs to be done." Hope sprang up inside of her. "So it can be done." It shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not." "Tell me, or you'll be dead."

Belfagor snarled. "You dare threaten me?" "Your the one in the ring of fire, so yeah.. I dare. Now talk. What needs to be done." It was quiet, for long enough that Smurf thought he was going to refuse to talk. Her hand shot out again, ready to shrink the ring of fire when it spoke again. "A being of good, though more then human. One that wields a great deal of power. One that loves without limits. And..." It trailed off. "And what?" Sam snorted a laugh. "Oh please. You can't seriously believe this. Smurf he's a demon. All they do is lie." She ignored him completely and repeated her question "And what?" "A complete act of selflessness. And...a sacrifice." "What kind of sacrifice?" Belfagor shrugged. "I've told you all that I know, which is more then I should have. I could be dead if..." "No one else is going to get the chance to kill you. Because I'm going to." She made a fist again, keeping it clenched tightly as the fire enveloped the demon, turning it into a pile of ashes. "A sacrifice," she mumbled to herself, crossing to the other side of the warehouse to collect her bag. Whether or not the demon was telling the truth.. she hadn't decided yet. But if it was, and for some reason, she thought that it was, it had given her a lot to go on and think about.

**A/N: I meant for this chapter to be longer, but I wanted to get it up, so I just left it as. I wasn't sure what to name the demon, or any other demon that may pop up in the story so I googled the names of demons... just in case anyone was wondering :)**


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